You Listen with Your Emotions (Not Your Ears)

You may not realize it, but you have been programmed to hear certain words and ideas and, unfortunately, not to hear others.

This situation creates a problem for you when you are listening to someone else. There are words that, when you hear them, are ripe with meaning and emotion that may well have completely different or very little meaning to other people. When you hear these words or ideas, your subconscious adds the memory, meaning and emotional context to the words you hear and impacts your understanding of what the other person is saying.

This can cause you to dramatically misinterpret what you are hearing. It can cause over-reaction or an inappropriate emotional response. It causes you to add color and meaning to someone else's thoughts that may not be at all applicable.

We all do it - all the time. We carry our past experiences with us wherever we go - like permanent programming on our individual hard drives. You aren't aware of it, but it's always working in the background. This certainly can contribute to your being a less than stellar listener.

So, be aware of your reactions and responses. And add some new programming. Listen to understand - not to react. Ask questions to ensure you really understand what is being said. Awareness is half the battle...

the communication guru