Listening faux pas #2: Assuming

Here's another very common listening faux pas that I see all the time. People listening to others often make an assumption about what the speaker is about to say based only on the first 3-5 words heard. This can be a big mistake...

We make assumptions for a number of reasons. We may have heard the opening words before and assume that the same thought will follow those words when we hear them again. We may assume that we know what someone is going to say because we know them very well. (This can be a big issue between spouses.) We may also feel that we are expert in the subject being discussed and make assumptions that there is no new information that could be added by others.
Regardless of the reason for the assumption, you can get caught in an embarrassing statement if your assumption is not correct. Do this frequently and you can get a reputation as a poor listener.

And finally, when you cut someone off because you 'know' what he or she is going to say, you only create a problem for yourself. Whether you are correct or incorrect in your assumption, the person speaking won't thank you. If you assume incorrectly, you are likely to hear, "Actually, what I was going to say was..." or if you assume correctly, you are likely to completely shut down the speaker. In either case, you will have essentially devalued the contribution of the person speaking. This is no way to increase connection with others or build relationships.

The other big problem with making an assumption is that it frequently leads to faux pas #3 - interrupting. More about that one next time.

Pause to listen. You may hear something unexpected...

the communication guru