What do crossed arms mean?

I was asked this question in a workshop recently. And it is a tough one to sum up in a simple answer. The honest answer - crossed arms can mean a lot and they can mean nothing.

Crossed arms may mean nothing when...

1) ...people are sitting around a meeting table, especially if the arms of the chairs are awkward or there are no chair arms. Often, we don't know what to do with our arms and will just cross them for comfort.

2) ...if you are in a cool room. Women, especially, will cross their arms when they feel cool.

3) ...someone is listening intently to you. Many people make their body very still when listening carefully to what is being said. Crossing arms is a favoured way to still the body.

Crossed arms may deserve your attention when:

1) ...accompanied by a negative facial expression such as a frown, squinted eyes or head shaking. (This is obvious discomfort with what is being said.)

2) ...if the arms are crossed very tightly, as if the person is protecting herself. (The person feels threatened by the conversation and/or situation.)

3) ...if the person you are talking to crosses his or her arms and starts to increase the angle between the two of you. (The person wants to escape. Hint - let them go!)

So, it is important to recognize that crossed arms alone don't mean much, but when combined with other body language, your listener may be sending you a very strong signal.

Hope this helps!

the communication guru