I can't believe you said that!

There is a very good reason why we often don't really say what we think.

Now, I'm not talking about purposely withholding information; I'm talking about how challenging it can be to express our true thoughts. You see, our brains process information at a remarkably fast speed. Our brains produce thoughts that are rich, complex and nuanced at speeds far faster than we could ever hope to speak. So, when we do speak, we select words that represent only a fraction of our actual thought.

When you are listening to someone, ask questions to ensure that you hear what is meant and not just the actual words that are said. The words may not even come close to representing the thought that the person is trying to express.

So, the next time you can't believe what someone said, cut that person some slack. Ask some clarifying questions to help you understand what the speaker means rather than taking the words at face value. It can make a huge difference and it will help reduce mis-understandings.

the communication guru