I was talking to a friend recently as I was recovering from a nasty bout of food poisoning. She ran into me and commented that I did not look well. I shared a few details about my (rather horrible) experience with some food court Chinese food and was looking for some sympathy. She's my friend after all.
Instead, what I got was her exclamation, "Oh - I know exactly what you went through!" Then she went on and on (and on and on) for several minutes about her experience several years back. Clearly her own experience was much more important than anything I had to say or even how I was feeling right now. After several exhausting minutes, she wound down and said, "So, do you want to go to lunch?" Yeah, right...
This is the classic conversation hijack, where someone grabs hold of part of what you have said and runs off with it. On one hand, these people are trying to show you that they relate to your experience. On the other hand, they aren't listening very well.
If you hijack a conversation, you have ended the conversation. The interplay between the listener and speaker is damaged. The speaker will become frustrated and may shut down.
The next time you are tempted to hijack a conversation, remember - you already know about your experiences and you already know what you think. Stop and listen, and you just might learn what someone else thinks or has experienced. Trust me - it is almost always more interesting to listen to someone else than to replay your own thoughts.
"Treat everyone you meet as though they are the most important person you'll meet that day." Roger Dawson (author, speaker, negotiation expert)
Shhh...someone else is talking.
the communication guru
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