A few weeks ago there was an episode of Oprah that is haunting me. The actual subject matter was about obese teenagers and how/why they became so incredibly overweight. The show was very interesting and they took good care of the teens who were involved with the show.
But what haunted me was the underlying cause for the weight gain - very poor communication and understanding between parent and child. Years worth - building up and literally weighing down these kids. It was heartbreaking to see the teens talk about how poorly understood they are by their parents.
Every person has a basic need to be heard and understood by others. Oprah even said something to this affect on the show. But this is what has been haunting me... You can't just tell a parent that they need to get to know their kids by listening to them better. You can't just tell a parent that they need to understand their kids better. Who could disagree with these directives? The problem is that these parents don't know how to do this. They may want to, but without any tools or guidance to help them change, they most likely will not be successful. Desire, while important, is not enough. Once those families are back home they will drift back into old patterns. I feel for the kids who were on the show.
I'll write more about parent-child communication in future posts.
the communication guru
Read more about parent-child communication in my new book, Talk about Anything with Your Kids http://www.talkaboutanything.ca
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